Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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