he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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