i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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