i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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