actually, I'm a sock model
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
