Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
