Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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