I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize