I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
