apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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