so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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