i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
