): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
