VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
