You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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