I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just forgot I was standing up.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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