Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you had me at cake vodka
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
