Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
