my mouth tastes like poor choices
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
