she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize