hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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