dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
