Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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