there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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