I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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