I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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