Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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