I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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