I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
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after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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