You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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