I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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