conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
