Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
