So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
