so that wasnt chicken after all
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
