so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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