I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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