After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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