Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
