im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
