Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
