Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
