The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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