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The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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