your room smells of hookers.
And success
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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