so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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