Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
