he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
