Nicole vs. Life
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
