so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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