i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
