how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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