He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We need a shit load of segways right now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
